Eulogy
 
(Aristotle) “Give me a child until they are 7 and I will show you the man”
 
Our Mum, Marianne, known as Nanni, lived through some of the most defining events of the 20th Century in her early life.
 
She was born on 8th December 1944 to Willi and Gustel Lemke, and along with her cherished older sister Anne, they lived in East Prussia. However, these were deeply turbulent times and towards the end of the war, Mum, Anne and their mother had to flee Konigsberg, (now Kalingrad), in a minesweeper sailing along the Baltic coast to Lubeck, in Northern Germany, in the hope of finding safety. 
 
Sadly, their father was captured by the Russians and sent to Siberia as a PoW. It would not be until she was 8/9 years old that the family were reunited after Willi was released from the Gulags, and through newspaper announcements, he managed to find his family once more. Once reunited they moved from Lubeck to Dortmund in Germany, where they later had a delicatessen store.
 
The upheaval and challenges of our Mum’s early life were not to end there. As an infant she contracted Polio and had to endure further separation from her family as she went on to spend most of her early childhood in hospital under quarantine, confined to an iron lung and enduring countless painful operations. Yet her stories of this time, whilst tinged with grief for her lost years, also told of the camaraderie and the human spirit that infused her friendships with the other young people she met.
 
This human spirit burned bright in our Mum. I remember a childhood incident she recounted concerning a pair of roller skates given to her sister Anne that she coveted, but was forbidden to use on account of her polio. With a twinkle in her eye she boasted “That didn’t stop me though. When no one was looking, I would put them on and skate around the kitchen table, holding onto it for dear life!”
 
During her teenage years she made many friends, some of whom would be here today if they could have managed the trip from Germany. Friends such as Helga, Hans and Ernie.
 
Mum became an apprentice seamstress and knew the value of a good pair of scissors, if you dropped a pair on the floor, the cost of a new pair was deducted from her wages!
 
It was at this time Mum was invited by one of her friends to attend a dance held by the 47th Missile Regiment, based in Germany. This brings me to another quality that ran deep within our Mum. Her capacity to love. That dance was to change her life, for it was here that she met and fell in love with our Dad, Michael. 
 
When Dad proposed, she said yes, but on one condition… that she could walk down the aisle in her wedding dress unassisted. Oh… and she did, walking down the aisle of the Marienkirche in Dortmund to start her life as Marianne Toogood.
 
Against the odds I made my entrance into the world in the British Military Hospital in Iserlohn and a year later she embarked on another journey, moving to England when Dad left the Army to become a Police Officer. These were tough years for her. She was young, without the support of her extended family and speaking limited English. However, she dealt with these challenges with her signature courage and optimism, learning the English language by watching Coronation Street. 
 
Not long after this Peter was born. In this period, we moved from Canvey Island to Frinton-on-Sea (and yes, the police house was inside the gates!). Mum loved living in Frinton and as always, made enduring friendships here, particularly neighbours such as Jan and her family, who lived over the road.
 
From Frinton we moved to Chelmsford and here she found her German Lutheran Congregation, of which she was so proud to become a part of. 
 
 
Here she met the then Assistant Pastor Manfred Wuttke. He later returned to Germany to become a Pastor and would go on to lead the ‘Service of Thanks Giving’ when Mum and Dad returned to Marienkirke for their 25th Wedding Anniversary where they were married.
 
In the late 1980’s Mum and Dad made their final move to Sible Hedingham, where they became members of St Peter’s Church and enjoyed a more active participation whilst Mum had some mobility and Dad had the strength to push her wheelchair up the hill.
 
Once Peter and I had left home Mum had the time to devote to her own ambitions. She went back to school and gained more O’ Levels than Pete and I, and achieved her City and Guilds in Pottery. She became a member of the Anglian Potters, becoming a very accomplished spending many hours perfecting her craft in her much-loved pottery studio in the garden. Woe betide anyone referring to it as a shed! 
 
She was also a member of the Guild of Weavers, Spinners and Dyers, becoming equally as accomplished at that. Creativity was yet another of our Mum’s defining qualities, she won many awards for her work, but more importantly, made many friends because her capacity for friendship was another.
 
As Mum got older, her Post Polio Syndrome took hold. The support provided by the Lane Fox Unit at St Thomas’ Hospital London and the British Polio Society became more important to her. She was one of their staunch supporters and advocates. Being one of the few living survivors of Polio she became an important subject in their research into PPS and went on to become a virtual specialist in the subject matter herself. She would put many a sceptical Dr straight on the matter… only to be told eventually “Yes Marianne, you are right” once they had investigated further.
 
 
 
 
This year would have been Mum and Dad’s sixtieth wedding Anniversary and Dad is missing her greatly.
 
Mum is survived by beloved sister Anne in Germany, her husband Michael, her sons myself and Peter, our partners Suzi and Bev, her grandchildren Katinka, Ben, Max, Joe and Anuschka and her great grandchildren Willow and Robyn - with whom she played a game of peek-a-boo from her hospital bed, just days before she passed away.
 
Whilst affected by the challenges in her life, our Mum was never defined by them. Against all the odds she went on to achieve so much and was loved by so many.
 
Mum’s courage, love and humour will continue to be a source of inspiration to us all and live on in our hearts.